I need help!!!

Dear beloved readers,

Eclipse is coming the eclipse is coming!!Run!!Hide!!Die!!!Many Indian astrologers say this week's total solar eclipse is a bad omen that will bring violence and turmoil across the world. Bunch of lies from a stupid, retarded dumb muthafrakers!!! These soothsayers and so called astrologers are primarily looking for opportunities to enhance their business with predictions of danger and calamity.

On Wednesday 22nd July 2009, the moon will come between the Earth and the sun, completely blocking out the sun, and astronomers, scientists and secularists are trying to play down claims of evil in connection with this natural phenomenon but nooooo…not for some Indian astrologers. According to Hindu mythology, the two demons Rahu and Ketu are said to "swallow" the sun during eclipses, snuffing out its life-giving light and causing food and water to be unfit to drink. Prayers, fasting and ritual bathing, particularly in holy rivers, are encouraged, while pregnant women are advised to stay indoors to prevent their babies developing birth defects.

A belief that deeply rooted in Indian society and sadly is has found its way to the world wide web and trying it’s best to scare people back into the dark ages. RUN!!! The sith Lord is coming!!!RUN!!!!In India, China and other Southeast Asian nations where the eclipse can be seen on Wednesday morning, astrologers have predicted a rise in communal and regional violence in the days leading up to the event. Raj Kumar Sharma, a Mumbai astrologer, predicted "some sort of attack by (Kashmiri separatists) Jaish-e-Mohammad or Al-Qaeda on Indian soil" and a devastating natural disaster in Southeast Asia.He believes an Indian political leader could be killed and tension between the West and Iran is likely to increase, escalating into possible U.S. military action after September 9. Yes, hey here’s an idea why don’t the world leader sacrifice themselves to save the rest of us poor soul!!!In that way when 2 demon Rahu and Ketu has eaten the sacrifice they will spare the entire world…

The eclipse also has an unsettling history in China. In ancient times they were often associated with disasters, the death of an emperor or other dark events. And experts say similar superstitions persist even today. A recent article that attracted a lot of hits on the popular Chinese web portal Baidu.com said the probability for unrest or war to take place in years when a solar eclipse happens is 95 percent.

Let me break it down to you scientifically what, how, why and when does an eclipse occur.
“ A solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes between the Sun and the Earth so that the Sun is fully or partially covered. This can only happen during a new moon, when the Sun and Moon are in conjunction as seen from the Earth. At least two and up to five solar eclipses can occur each year on Earth, with between zero and two of them being total eclipses. Total solar eclipses are nevertheless rare at any location because during each eclipse totality exists only along a narrow corridor in the relatively tiny area of the Moon's umbra.“

Daddy!!Daddy!! what is a new moon??

A new moon is: “In astronomical terminology, the phrase new moon is the lunar phase that occurs when the Moon, in its monthly orbital motion around Earth, lies between Earth and the Sun, and is therefore in conjunction with the Sun as seen from Earth. At this time, the dark (unilluminated) portion of the Moon faces almost directly toward Earth, so that the Moon is not visible to the naked eye.”

Daddy!!Daddy!! what is umbra means? Umbra means “ umbra or penumbra or penumbra are the names given to three distinct parts of a shadow, created by any light source. For a point source only the umbra is cast. These names are usually used when referring to the shadows cast by celestial bodies.”

In Homer Simpson theories take a freaking flash light switch it on and use your hand to cover the end of the flash light. D’oh!!

There's no need to get too alarmed about the eclipse, they are a natural phenomenon. Enjoy it. Take lots of photo of it. But nooooooo some yahoos speculate that a possibility of an Earthquake and Tsunami might occur on July 22, 2009 during the time of the eclipse. That might explain why I can log on to my mafia wars account. Well I guess is the job for Stargate SG-1 lead by Colonel Cameron Mitchell and Stargate Atlantis the Atlantis team lead by Colonel John Sheppard!!Bear with me here both teams need to dial to the planet PX1-648 at the same time or else they might end up in the alternate parallel universe, use 3 ZPM or Zero Point Module if you will, hijack the battlestar Galactica with Admiral Adama in command and fight off the Cylons, gate down to the planet surface, where certain doom awaits the team plant some club sandwich so the tree of club sandwich shall blossom and open a hyper-drive window to get back to reality!!!

According to majority of scientists earthquakes are not caused by the moon or any event such as this, no matter how long the eclipse lasts or how significant it is from other eclipses. The moon's gravitational pull is only known to cause tides. In this instance also there is a high probability for a mild change in ocean tides during the eclipse which should not be mistaken for a Tsunami.

However, there has been an unendorsed earthquake prediction by a software developer who specializes in Computer Game physics and has posted an article on a blog post. His statement is based on an existing theory by James O. Berkland originally posted on National Geographic. According to this speculation, the combined gravitational pull of sun and moon during the long total eclipse will cause a undersea tectonic uplift in south of Japan resulting a major tsunami. However, the author states that this is only a hypothesis and acknowledges that he is not qualified to make a formal prediction. The news is swiftly gaining attention worldwide as an electronic chain letter. Mainstream scientists and media have already rejected this hypothesis stating that there is no credible evidence to prove any correlation between solar eclipses and earthquakes. If I ever find out who wrote that shit I might just shoot him down with a .50 caliber snipping rifle.

Once again enjoy the moment, take lots of photo while have some beer with your friends post it on facebook.

Loved by (sadly),
The Grinch

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