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I need help!!!

Dear beloved readers, Eclipse is coming the eclipse is coming!!Run!!Hide!!Die!!!Many Indian astrologers say this week's total solar eclipse is a bad omen that will bring violence and turmoil across the world. Bunch of lies from a stupid, retarded dumb muthafrakers!!! These soothsayers and so called astrologers are primarily looking for opportunities to enhance their business with predictions of danger and calamity. On Wednesday 22nd July 2009, the moon will come between the Earth and the sun, completely blocking out the sun, and astronomers, scientists and secularists are trying to play down claims of evil in connection with this natural phenomenon but nooooo…not for some Indian astrologers. According to Hindu mythology, the two demons Rahu and Ketu are said to "swallow" the sun during eclipses, snuffing out its life-giving light and causing food and water to be unfit to drink. Prayers, fasting and ritual bathing, particularly in holy rivers, are encouraged, while pregna...

Did I marry the right person

Here's a thought that I would like to share it with all of you. Agree or disagree with as you will as it depends on how one view/treasure the little things in life. DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? Many people especially woman asked a common question "Did I married the right person. Or is this Mr.Right. How does one know if he or she is married to the right person?' Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were...

Parents conversations

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, 'My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father' '. The second Catholic man chirps, 'My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace''. The third Catholic gent says, 'My son is a cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence' '. The fourth Catholic man chirps, 'My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness''. Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, 'Well...?' She replies, 'I have a daughter. She is slim, tall and 36D-24-36. When she walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God !....

another Joke

Men and women on earth die and go to heaven. God comes and says: - "I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control over their women, and the other one for the men who were controlled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk." Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one man. God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!" "Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Italian Tomato Garden

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Dougo, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Dougo, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa A few days later he received a letter from his son.. Dear Pop, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried. Love, Dougo At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Pop, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now...

THE BASIC LAWS OF HUMAN STUPIDITY

The basic laws of human stupidity: THE FIRST BASIC LAW - Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation. THE SECOND BASIC LAW - The probability that a certain person will be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person. THE THIRD (AND GOLDEN) BASIC LAW - A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person or to a group of persons while himself deriving no gain and even possibly incurring losses. THE FOURTH BASIC LAW - Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals. In particular non-stupid people constantly forget that at all times and places and under any circumstances to deal and/or associate with stupid people always turns out to be a costly mistake. THE FIFTH BASIC LAW - A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.Or stupid person is more dangerous than a bandit.

A nice day in hell

Recently I was in Kuala Lumpur for personal reasons and I notice that the weather was hotter then usual. Well it was hotter then hell. And it looks like people in K.L should brace themselves for more hotter days to come as a local newspaper reported.Temperatures may go up by 3˚C with El Nino phenomenon as quoted by the local newspaper. El Nino is a climatic condition where abnormal warming of the Pacific Ocean causes dry weather in South-East Asia and northern Australia. And yes if you think that your fart is contributing to the warm climate these days then shame on you. So the next time when you wishes to release your personal hot air think of the global warming effect. It would be great to see the faces of society holding in their farts while continue their daily life..till my next blog...see you in hell..oh wait you are already there...hahahaha